A lot of writers are writing on Substack about, well, yeah, writing. How to get published, how to put together a plot, how to get an agent etc. And that’s great and all. I enjoy reading those. However, I'd like to use my Substack to shoot the shit with you every so often about whatever is on my mind at that given moment.
Occasionally I’m going to be riffing on Japan, Life, Death, Pop, Art, whatever, because I don’t just want this to be about writing. I want to talk to you. Shoot the shit. Talking a lot of bullshit mostly, if I’m honest. You’ll see what I mean with today’s…
So, let's go ahead and shoot the shit today about — Déjà vu.
Do you experience Déjà vu often?
I get it a lot.
Often, I’m not sure if it's from a dream or a memory, but 100% I’ve already experienced whatever it is I’m seeing, doing, experiencing for the first time.
No! Wait! Don’t burst my bubble yet with your scientific explanations.
Well, why not, Steve?
Well, I think sometimes it’s true that living is easy with eyes closed and I prefer to believe that Déjà vu is the real deal.
Let me try and extrapolate.
You and I, we’ve lived our lives an infinite number of times. We’ve been born an infinite number of times and yes, we’ve died an infinite number of times.
You’ve read this article and asked yourself “what the hell is this guy smoking today?” an infinite number of times.
Our lives are a Blu-ray movie on repeat. When the movie ends, it skips back to the beginning.
We forget everything, but sometimes our past lives leak through. Hence Déjà vu. This is limbo. Purgatory. We play out this movie over and over again until we make it to the sequel.
Every significant friend or lover you’ve had in your life, I’m sure you felt like you’ve known them before as soon as you’ve met them. I’m sure even some one-night stands have stood apart from others. The scent of a fragrance, of a shampoo. The smell of an apartment that isn’t yours, but you feel like you’ve been there many times already. Ditto cities and places you’ve traveled to for the first time. Ditto people you’ve met for the first time where you feel completely comfortable with them straight away, despite all your usual anxieties.
I know you know what I’m talking about.
As scientific, vertical thinking individuals we often brush these feelings aside without a second thought. But what if you’re body and mind are reacting to memories long forgotten and now finally being relived?
The snake eating its own tail for infinity before we can level-up to reincarnation or heaven or hell or Palm Springs.
It’s a theory close to my heart. It makes the days pass by a little easier.
I prefer thinking this way rather than imagining it's just a black screen at the end ala The Sopranos.
(Eugene’s wife put a hit out on Tony with her dead husband”s inheritance cash by the way. Hence The Members Only jacket reference. Tony’s dead. Debate me.)
Anyway, this idea of being stuck in limbo and repeating your life over and over again has quite heavily influenced my writing. It was a major theme in Always the Dead. Though no one noticed it, despite numerous clues. Hell, I should be a better writer, I know. And hell, I mentioned writing on this Substack when i didn’t intend to. All roads lead back to writing, I guess.
So, there it is, folks. Today’s riff on Déjà vu. Next time maybe I’ll talk about my crazy theories on ghosts, ufos or the JFK assassination.
Joking. But seriously, maybe I will.
Anyways, thanks for reading this.
Until next time.
THIS MONTH'S ENTERTAINMENT RECOMMENDATIONS ARE:
PODCASTS
James Ellroy’s Hollywood Death Trip
Derren Brown’s Boot Camp for Life
Unsolved Mysteries
Truly Criminal
BOOKS
Brian Bowyer — Road Harvest
Coy Hall — The Hangman Feeds the Jackal
Michael Grothaus — Epiphany Jones
MUSIC
The Prodigy — Fat of the Land
The Cure — Disintegration
Miles Davis — Miles
MOVIES
The Fabelmans
Ne Le Dis a Personne
Damn this is good!
I had one of those yesterday. Looking at my husband, holding a book and thinking, this looks like a repeat... then it fades away like these dreams from just before waking up. Our minds are very interesting places.